Welcome to Young Adult's Journal

How can I stop cutting?

Carly knows her cutting behavior has spiraled out of control. Instead of feeling calm and relieved, she feels greater remorse and shame about what she’s doing to herself—but she can’t seem to stop. She went three whole weeks without cutting, but then did it again.

If you engage in self-injuring behavior—cutting, burning, bruising, branding, or picking or pulling skin and hair—you can take steps to try to resist the urge to self-injure. Like other urges, the desire to cut will pass if you can wait it out. Try some of these strategies:

• Distract yourself. Call a friend, take a shower (remove any razors), go for a walk or ride your bike, watch a DVD, play with a pet or dance like crazy.

• Find something soothing or calming. Listen to music, try a breathing exercise, practice yoga, play a musical instrument or cuddle up in a comfy blanket. Make a cup of tea, warm milk or cocoa.

• Express deep emotions in another way. Draw, paint or even scribble; write in a journal; compose songs, music or poetry.

• Work it out. Doing something physical can help release stress and tension. Exercise, dance or play Wii. Knead a stress ball or clay.

• Try a cutting substitute. Rub an ice cube on your skin or squeeze it in your hand. Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it—gently. Draw on your skin with a red marker in the place you usually cut.

• Keep trying. Stopping a behavior like cutting can be difficult, but it’s not impossible. Avoid visiting websites that promote a sense of sisterhood among cutters. Seek help from a trained professional who can help you tap into your strengths and teach you better ways of coping with emotional pain.

Sexual Harassment at Work

Sara knew when she took the job that she’d be one of very few women in the office, but she had complete confidence that her skills and abilities would help her excel. Unfortunately, it hasn’t worked out that way. The culture at work has become hostile ever since she repeatedly refused to go out with a colleague on a date. Now, instead of asking her out, he makes comments about her clothes, finds ways to brush up against her in hallways and tells others at work that she must be gay. The stress has led to headaches and bouts of anxiety. She used to have perfect attendance, but now has used up all her sick leave. She’s afraid that complaining about the harassment will only make it worse.

What’s sexual harassment? Sexual harassment is unwelcome verbal, visual or physical behavior that’s sexual in nature and is severe or ongoing, or creates a hostile environment. It can include comments about clothing, personal behavior or a person’s body; sexual jokes; repeatedly asking a person out; inappropriate touching; leering; and rude drawings, pictures or e-mails of a sexual nature. If you find yourself in a similar situation, take these steps to try to resolve it:

• Say “no” clearly. It’s not sexual harassment if the behavior is welcome. Communicate to the harasser—through your actions and words—that his or her behavior offends you and you want it to stop.
• Document the harassment. Keep a log of dates, times, what happened, and any witnesses to the incident. Store the record in a safe place at home—not at work. Report the harassment in writing and keep a written record of the response. Keep copies of everything you send and receive.
• Review your personnel file. You have the right to see it; check your state’s law to see if you’re entitled to a copy of your file.
• Follow the company’s grievance procedure. Speak to a Human Resources officer. Reporting the harassment is important. It may stop the behavior, and it makes your employer responsible for stopping it.
• File a complaint with a government agency. Before you can file a lawsuit of any kind, first you need to file a formal sexual harassment complaint with the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) and the corresponding agency at the state level.

Given the incredibly high cost of postsecondary education, many young adults are starting off their independent lives saddled with debt that didn’t burden previous generations. Getting out of debt and on the road to financial security will take savvy and dedication, but you can do it. Follow these tips to avoid costly mistakes:

• Create a budget—and stick to it. A budget is more than a guide on how to spend your money. A budget should help you increase savings, repay debt, avoid impulse spending, cut expenses and make decisions about what you can afford.

• Pay yourself first. Get into the habit of “paying yourself” by depositing money into a savings account, 401(k) or other long-term investment. Make your own coffee instead of picking up a $4 cup at Starbucks and you can save $1,460 a year. Invested at 5 percent, that money will grow to nearly $1,865 in five years. Imagine what you can save by brown-bagging your lunch several times a week!

• Pay down debt. Follow the 20-percent rule: Don’t commit more than 20 percent of your take-home pay to debts—credit cards, car payments, student loans and other installment loans. Already in over your head? Seek advice from a reputable financial advisor to reduce your debt to a more manageable level, or visit www.repaydebt.org.

• Create an emergency fund. Build at least six months’ worth of funds that could cover your expenses in the event of a job loss or other emergency affecting your income. If your company shut down tomorrow, how would you buy groceries or pay your rent, car insurance, or electric bill?

• Set goals. It’s easy to get caught up in the struggles of day-to-day (and paycheck-to-paycheck) living. But by setting both short- and long-term goals, you can view the big picture more easily and stick to your budget.

• Learn more. Enroll in a class or workshop, or visit www.smartaboutmoney.org.